This has been one of those seasons where nothing is going the way I would have it, from the small annoyances to the biggest painful things. And I find myself afraid of God’s plans for me. Lately, I’ve been returning to a scripture that keeps coming back around at different seasons of my life and making its way deeper into my heart: the story of Peter walking on water.
I always kind of assume that Jesus expects me to perform superhuman feats, the feats of a god, like walking on water. But awhile ago, as I was praying with this scripture, it struck me that Jesus invited Peter to walk across the water to him only after Peter said to him, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water.” I mentioned that to someone who has long mentored me and he shared a reflection that he’d heard that perhaps part of Jesus saying “why did you doubt” was, “why did you doubt? I TOLD you it was me! I TOLD you I was coming to you!”
That pierced my heart so profoundly and I’ve kept it with me ever since. There are some seasons I need to step out in faith. There are others I desperately need to rest and let Jesus just come to me in the boat, come to me and hold me there. Right now, in this season, I’m just tired and I don’t have the strength to step out. So Jesus is coming to me and holding me here. I can pause here in his arms. Selah.
