As a prelude to the first journal entry, I wrote this when Silvio and I were very newly married. For the first solid year, we experienced an endless stream of things going wrong–being evicted on our one month anniversary, our cars breaking down so consistently that even getting to work and thus affording the most basic things was not guaranteed, and struggles with crippling depression haunting us at every turn. I got to the point at which the moment one thing was resolved, I was lying in wait of the next catastrophe. Not very trusting perhaps. The amazing thing was that God, while letting those things happen, loved us so beautifully through it all.
God has given me an amazing life. The best husband and family of course. But He’s also teaching me to be in the world, not of it; to be happy here, but to want heaven more. Living simply is cozy. It is not distracting from God, Silvio, or love. But it is not so comfortable that I forget that I need God, that I forget everything I have is only because He gave it to me. That is a tremendous blessing. And I’m learning more and more to cherish today, because tomorrow is not promised. These uncertainties may be scary, but they have always been there whether I knew it or not. But how much richer life is when I remember that what I hold is a fragile gift, and that God is certain and so very reliable.