As I struggle with pride, I’m trying to focus on seeing myself as God sees me. Some people have tried to grasp humility by seeing themselves as worms, because without God, they are utterly worthless–that though as humans we have great dignity, that’s only because God chose to make humans associated with Him. The worm imagery does not resonate with me. But imagining how God sees me does.
I struggle so much with pride because of the things I’m good at and because God seems to use me. Even though I know none of it’s mine and all of it is His grace and gifts being put in me and flowing through me. I am prideful because He chose to do it in me and because I said yes.
It helps me to step back and remember that left to my own devices, I would be pathetic. None of that goodness would be there because He wouldn’t have given it to me, He wouldn’t be using me, He wouldn’t be helping me. And it helps me to remember that that’s the case for every person. I believe God made me unique and loves me uniquely. But He also made each other person unique and loves each of them uniquely. And He wants to use every single one of us so, so much. However wonderfully a vision of Himself He wants me to become, He wants each other person to become an equally wonderful vision of Himself in all their own ways. And He longs for each of us. He longs to be so intimately close to each one of us.
The balance is, I do need to focus on my own relationship with Him. I need to recognize how He longs for me specifically. But I must remember that this does not single me out.
The paradox is, He singles each person out because each person has his or her own gifts and He uses each person so distinctly, so uniquely. But I must remember that when it’s all said and done, that does not make me greater. Because I am unique and loved and desired and destined to be used by God. But so is each of His other created people.