“Hold back nothing of yourselves for yourselves so that He who gives Himself totally to you may receive you totally.” – Saint Francis of Assisi
I’m finding myself clinging to security–to the things I think will give me security, and am afraid that without them, I’ll have nothing. All I want is to know that I’ll be provided for by Silvio, but that knowing has become an idol to me. Abba said in Psalm 81, “I freed his shoulder from the burden, his hands were able to lay aside the laborer’s basket. You cried out in your distress, so I rescued you. ‘Hidden in the storm, I answered you.’ …Listen, my people, while I give you warning…if only you would listen to me! ‘You shall have no strange gods’…you have only to open your mouth for me to fill it. My people would not listen to me, Israel would have none of me. So I left them to their stubborn devices. If only my people would listen to me…I would feed you with the finest of wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” My clinging to my understanding of security is blocking Abba out, and preventing Him from comforting me, being my Lord, and even giving me something better. And He wants to! He wants to! Just give Him my idol!
I’m afraid that if I give Him my security and my desire for it, I won’t have it anymore. The thing is, I actually have to be open to that. It doesn’t mean I have to feel good, but I do have to be open to whatever He’ll do with it once I give it to Him, and that terrifies me.
Abba, please help me to carry this cross. Please take this idol from me and fill its place with that finest wheat and honey that will satisfy me.
2 Corinthians 9: “God is perfectly able to enrich you with every grace, so that you always have enough for every conceivable need, and your resources overflow in all kinds of good work.”