I’ve been reading The Acts of the Apostles lately. The apostles keep saying how they cannot keep silent about the things they have seen. Even in the face of persecution. I know how they felt! I cannot keep silent about what the Holy Spirit has done in me. I want to tell people, to help them experience God this way, the way Jesus meant everyone to experience Him.
Jesus never once told people to pray for healing. He told us to heal people.
The Holy Spirit really does want to use each of us in astounding ways. But it’s up to us to be open and available.
My spiritual director was talking to me about this idea that when we grow virtuous, it’s so different than what we normally think of. It’s not that we gain or grow more virtue. The emptier we are, the more available we are to simply be vessels of God’s virtue. Humility? If I’m humble, it’s not ME that’s humble. But if I’m empty enough, I can be filled more and more with a humility that is God’s humility. I can let it work in me and through me. It is never mine. It is always God’s. I had had this image not long before that conversation of being essentially just a human glove for the Holy Spirit, being just the thing that enables Him to walk around on earth and do things. My spiritual director pointed out that even when it IS the Holy Spirit doing the painting, the loving, the music, whatever it is, He is still using me to accomplish His work in a unique way. He created me for a destiny before the world was made. How beautiful and empowering and huge. I must remember to keep asking Him to show me and lead me and increase my desire for what He wants to do.
When I was healed from my insomnia, it was through my spiritual director. It was through his prayers and his being such an open channel so that the Holy Spirit could flow straight through him. As I long for the Holy Spirit to use me, it is so helpful to me to have such a beautiful example right before my eyes of what can happen when I make myself that open, free, empty of worthless distractions, and available to the Holy Spirit.
In the past few years I’ve experienced a lot of emptying. Through illness and pain I’ve been slowly detached from some of the things that were a lot more important to me not long ago. It’s brought me to lean on God and discover that He really is the only one I can count on, and I’ve found myself not even caring about things I used to be really attached to because in the thick of it, they did not do anything for me. I am so thankful now for the emptying, even though it hurt. Now I can pray with more confidence that the Holy Spirit can fill that place with Himself. I can ask Him to fill me more and more and more and to bless everything I do. We all can and we each must. What He wants to do with us is amazing, and what He wants to do in each individual is amazing to that person. It’s only daunting on the outside. What a life He’s planned for each of us if we just let Him lead and come in.